Note I said "used to be."
Why the change? For one thing, as an empty-nester, it means your heart is far away. (Mine lives in California.) Kids love Christmas, but with no kids, it's a bit hard to get excited, or even get stuff done. I used to have a large artificial Christmas tree, but as I got older, I couldn't get it out of the basement by myself. Then it got to be a lot of work just to put it together, and let me tell you, trying to decorate an 8 foot tall tree by yourself is a real feat. Waiting until you can get some help isn't always fun. Asking for help is less fun. When it's viewed as a chore, it stops being fun altogether.
So the big Christmas tree went away, and I trimmed down my vast collection of ornaments and decorations. Nobody ever comes to my house to celebrate Christmas. It's always at my Mom's house (and she doesn't have a tree, which bugs me.) Why not Christmas at my house? I cook for Thanksgiving, so everybody comes here for that.
With the arthritis in my back significantly affecting my movement, I've put on a bit of weight, so I certainly don't need the temptation of freshly baked cookies.
With more and more gifts becoming small squares of plastic, shopping (online or otherwise) is not as exciting. And with more of my favorite people scattered across the country, Christmas presents get wrapped up and mailed, and I don't get to enjoy watching the recipient open the gift and see the reaction. (If you think I'm nuts, make yourself a cup of coffee and READ THIS STORY.)
All of this is a roundabout way of saying I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. I ordered a small 36" pre-lit tree on line, and it will be in by the end of the week (I hope). I've bought a couple of poinsettias and dug out some Holiday decorations and hung the Christmas stockings.
There are many more things I HAVE to do, and I don't feel like I've got enough time to enjoy it. This year it seems more like a chore than anything. So last night when I got home from work, I picked up "The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon," one of the Number One Ladies Detective Agency books, sat down and read.
I love this series. There's no violence, and everything always ends well. I love the characters, the people, the sense of place. The books are soothing and life-affirming. I love them so much, that when I get a new book, I try to read one chapter a day, so I can prolong the pleasure.
Last night, after I finished my chapter, I didn't put the book down. I kept reading. I read until I finished the book. I felt much better about everything. I had set aside the HAVE TO's and substituted the NOURISH MYSELF.
Which was interesting, because rummaging through a drawer on Sunday while looking for a battery, I came across an old newspaper article on getting through the Holiday season. Here, in a nutshell, is what it said:
Step One: Make a Plan.
Step Two: Cut it in half.
I feel better. Maybe I'm still not "feeling it," but at least now I'm not going to let it bother me.
